|I'd give credit to whomever created this image, but for some |
reason, I can't find information about who that was.
Shhhh. Be very, very quiet. Because I’m going to tell you a secret. Are you ready to hear it? Really? You sure?
I wasn’t a virgin when I got married.
Oh my god! Stop the presses!
Psychology Today cited studies that said that 70 – 90% of adolescents have sex before they’re 18, but I couldn’t read the full study without paying $20, and that sure isn’t worth it for a little blog like this one. But I’m going to guess it’s at least somewhat legit, and argue that most people (51% or more) are not virgins when they marry.
And that should be okay.
Because sex happens.
Of course, even if a woman chooses not to have sex, she still might not have a hymen. According to How Stuff Works, the hymen can separate during athletics or even “for no apparent reason.” On top of that, you also have instances of rape where a woman will potentially lose her hymen without consent.
But there’s a new movement going through Twitter (so you know it must be well thought out) with two great new hashtags: #nohymennodiamond and #poppedcherrynomarry.
Apparently, men will only marry – and give diamond rings – to women who are still virgins.
This confuses me greatly because it makes us all fall back on that double standard. Men need to have sex to be studly and manly. Women have to refuse to have sex to make them dainty and feminine.
These two things cannot go together. Unless you’re advocating that all men should be involved in homosexual relationships. (Hey, I don’t think that’s a bad thing…but I’m going to guess that there are some men who won’t be into that idea.) So that means that, sooner or later, for a man to have sex, a woman will be the one having sex with him.
But let’s not even go there. Let’s look at the simple things.
There are three assumptions in those hashtags:
A woman’s worth is in her hymen.
A woman wants to get married.
A woman wants a diamond ring.
The first of those things is just straight out wrong. You cannot make any argument that would convince me (or almost any other woman) that a hymen is a value of worth.
The second and third are arguable. Many women do not want to get married. Many women do not like diamonds (or do not want a diamond engagement ring, anyway).
It seems to me that if someone is going to put forth the idea that women should only get engagement rings if they are virgins means that the diamond industry should weigh in on that because they’re set to lose quite a bit of cash…