Being a girl in Staples

So a friend – who shall remain nameless – needed to pick up some special paper to print her thesis on.  Being a total freak for paper and pens and all manner of office supplies, of course I knew that Staples happened to carry the right paper.  It needed to be thesis paper.  Seriously.  It’s a special kind of paper that has to be cotton, etc, etc.  Awesome, right?

I happened to be at a Staples one day after she had asked me where she could possibly find this paper, and so I took a picture of the paper on the shelf and texted it to her.  She knew what it looked like.  She knew how much it cost.  She knew that Staples had it.

My friend then went to Staples to buy the paper.  She couldn’t find it because she didn’t know the super-secret place they hide it, so she asked an employee.

In response to the question to the employee, a random guy responded, telling my friend (and the employee) that to get paper like that, you had to go to a specialty stationary store.  Which was totally and completely wrong.  But he said it with complete authority – even though he hadn’t been asked – and then he walked away, convinced that he had just delivered a proclamation that all should (and would) listen to.

My friend ignored it, and, of course, found the paper she was looking for because, hello!, Staples did carry it.

Here’s where it gets confusing.

Was he being sexist or just rude?

If it had been a woman who intruded on the conversation, there wouldn’t be a question.  But how can you tell someone’s intent when the only thing you know for sure is that the person speaking is male and that what he did was rude. 

Would he have done this to a guy asking a question? 

I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt.  But part of me really has reasonable doubt that he would have felt the freedom to take charge of a situation with a male questioner instead of a female.  Hopefully someday it won’t be a question, and we will be able to tell the rude people from the sexist people, but for now…it’s anyone’s guess.

Mani/pedi rape kit…

Nail Polish And Manicure Set by hyena reality via freedigitialphotos.net

Yeah, I finally decided I was going to weigh in on the nail polish thing.  I was standing on the sidelines on this one, but I’m finally going for it.

Just a few points I wanted to make:

1. Not all rape victims are female.  Many men aren’t into wearing nail polish.  To be fair, there are also plenty of women who don’t like nail polish.  Why assume that women will want to add something to their beauty routine?

2. The nail polish is invented by men, which to some people seems to further perpetuate the victim-blaming that often occurs along with rape and sexual assault.  Guys are creating a tool for women to stop rapists as opposed to simply stopping men from raping.  This “tool” makes it feel much more like women are responsible for what happens to them if they are attacked.  “Well, you’re responsible if someone drugs you because you didn’t check your drink.”  Wait, what?  We have to be on the offensive and the defensive at all times? 

3. It can be seen as just another tool for women to use to defend themselves, like carrying mace, a taser, or even a gun.  But the thing is – those are weapons, meant to be used to fight back against a crime being committed, not something that women have to do in order to prevent a crime.

4. And, no, rape is not like putting a bike lock on your bike.  Why not?  We shouldn’t have to assume that our bodies require 24/7 protection!  Yes, stealing a bike is wrong, but rape is rape, asshole!  If you’re looking at crimes within a ranking (and, yes, we do rank the seriousness of crimes, hence the whole levels of misdemeanors and felonies and the ranges of punishments), then rape is a whole lot further along that spectrum than taking a bicycle!  There’s a sex offender registry, but I don’t recall seeing a bike theft registry. 

5. No one is saying that people (men and women) shouldn’t take precautions when it comes to crime.  But when you claim that a failure to take extra precautions (and dipping your nail into every drink that you drink in public is definitely an extra precaution) means that the person “deserved it” is beyond broken.  It doesn’t just happen with rape.  I just saw on my Facebook feed where a woman accused another woman of “asking for it” because someone grabbed her purse out of her shopping cart.  But I find it hard to find anyone on my feed blaming a man for being mugged, even if he was standing drunk at an ATM waving his wad of cash around.

6. Yeah, well, I don’t have a six.  But I’m guessing other people do.  Feel free to share yours in the comments below.  Just remember that I’m a crazy ass feminist, and this is my blog.  This is not a democracy.  So be a douche, and get deleted!

Et tu, Scooby Doo? AKA Women Worry about Being Fat, Men Worry about Their Cars

On this, National Women’s Equality Day, I wanted to look at how equal everyone is.  Except, you know, when it comes to women. 

I think there are two perfect illustrations (literally) of this issue currently in the news.

First, there’s the new Scooby-Doo movie.  I know, it’s not technically released yet, but there have already been spoilers and reviews. 

I think the most important thing about it is the response from Warner Bros to Huffington Post:

“The plot of the movie involves the Scooby gang becoming cursed and losing what means the most to each of them.  Fred loses the Mystery Machine, Shaggy and Scooby lose their appetites, etc.  Daphne loses her good looks (mainly her figure and her hair.

While Daphne is at first upset by the sudden change, there is a touching moment where Fred points out that he didn’t even notice a change and that she always looks great to him.”

Oh, Warner Bros, where do I start with you?

Well, let’s go with the size.  They move her from a size 2 to a size 8.  Yet the animation (as seen at the Huffington Post article), seems to show her at a much larger size.  For comparison, I’ve included a photo of me – and I’m a 10/12.   

I think she might be a wee bit bigger than that.  And, just for comparison, the average woman is a 12 or 14, so a size 8 might not be quite as horrifying as the Scooby gang animators thought.

Then let’s look at the awesomest part of the statement – that “there is a touching moment where Fred points out that…she always looks great to him.”

Wow.  Really?  So as long as a guy likes the way you look, then you’re cool?  It’s okay to be “fat” and have bad hair if a guy is cool with it.  I guess that’s touching?  That a guy would accept her when she’s so unacceptable to the animators?

Second, there’s the “artistic” rendering of Spider-Woman.  Sigh.  Let me repeat – sigh.

Women in comics (and science fiction and fantasy and just about everywhere else) are often portrayed as sex pots and little else.  I can deal with that, even if I’m not happy about it.  We can work to change it, but it won’t be overnight, and we have to get that it’s going to be work.

My problem with the Spider-Woman issue is that…it’s just bad artwork, and no one cared because it’s “sexy.”  People who enjoy the look of Spider-Woman are looking at a true piece of abstract art.  In some, she’s missing body parts (a leg here, organs there), and, as a blogger was kind enough to point out, the position she’s in is one that wouldn’t even work!  She’s ready to land flat on her face!

If we’re going to insist on our women being held to an unrealistic standard, at least let’s try to stick with one that doesn’t involve removing limbs or organs, and definitely let’s avoid anything that makes us fall flat on our faces.