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| Happy, Happy Hippo! by Ardelfin at morgueFile |
It
may be somewhat ironic that I’m posting this as I’m currently doing a bit of a
lifestyle turnaround, losing weight and getting back in shape. But let me start with the disclaimer that I
am doing so for a number of reasons, and the main reasons are medical (high
risk of diabetes in my family) and my urge to be able to run a 5k and take part
in roller derby.
Why
did I bother with that disclaimer?
Because it’s important. Because
it matters.
It
matters because, about a month and a half ago, I went to a seminar on weight
loss and obesity. It really was a bit of
a shill for weight loss surgery (something I don’t need or want), and I was
absolutely floored when one of the women there said that she had gained weight
after going on anti-depressants, but that she would go off them in a heartbeat
if she could lose weight because she’d rather be sad than fat. But being clinically depressed isn’t just “being
sad.” As someone who has had plenty of
my own mental issues, I can tell you that if I could be happy every day, I
wouldn’t mind carrying around an extra 20 pounds. If that’s all it took, I would be there.
But
apparently she isn’t alone. CNNpublished an article by Rebecca Simmons where she cited that “54% of women 18
to 25 said they would rather be hit by a truck than be fat.” One of Simmons’ friends, when asked about it,
said that, “the thing is…if I got run over it wouldn’t be my fault, but being
fat is something other people can blame me for.”
And,
sadly, her friend is right. Even though
70% of American adults are overweight and more than 33% are obese, research studies show that people who are overweight are often thought of as “lazy,
unsuccessful schlubs with no will power.”
In
fact, back in June, a lovely psychology professor (who is now on leave) named
Geoffrey Miller went ahead and tweeted “Dear PhD applicants: if you don’t have
the willpower to stop eating carbs, you won’t have the willpower to do a
dissertation #truth.”
He,
of course, apologized and said he didn’t mean it. But he did.
Apologies don’t take it away, and, in fact, his tweet probably did a lot
more harm than good. NBC published anarticle in July that pointed out that “fat shaming” actually increases the risk
for individuals to become or stay obese.
“Research has already shown that stigmatizing overweight people leads to
psychological factors that are likely to contribute to weight gain – things like
depression or binge eating…we know that eating is a common reaction to stress
and anxiety – that people often engage in more food consumption or more binge
eating in response to stressors.”
So
how does this turn up in my crazy ass feminist blog?
Because,
for the most part, society doesn’t mind fat men as much. Now, I don’t want you to take that the wrong
way. Fat men still have issues, still
are looking down on, still are teased and “shamed” and all sorts of other
horrible things, and they still have eating disorders (although not as commonly
as women), but society does one thing to make it acceptable: they have them on
TV all the time.
Think
about the classic TV couple.
Honeymooners. The
Flintstones. Even King of Queens. The guy can be overweight, but the woman has
to be thin and attractive. Fat guys win
thin chicks. But fat chicks…holy mother
of god, no!
Melissa
McCarthy, who is awesome in “Mike and Molly” btw, has been attacked for being
overweight – called “a female hippo,” “tractor-sized,” and “a gimmick comedian who has devoted her short career to being obese and obnoxious with equal success.”
To
go back just a few years, I recall plenty of comments like this also being
addressed to Roseanne when the show was popular. Yet, somehow, I don’t remember anyone saying
that about John Goodman.
In
fact, in the New York Post’s “50 Fat Celebrities,” more than half are male
(although they include Mike Tyson, who I take umbrage as listing as a
celebrity when it should be “convicted rapist and felon”). But regardless, even in this list, the
majority of the “fat” women are probably no more than a size 8, maybe a
10. And that’s “fat” enough to compete
with male stars like “Fat Joe,” Vincent Pastore, Orson Welles, Marlon Brando,
and Kevin Smith. Apparently a female
size 8 is just too much to handle, but a male size XXXL is what it takes to
make the list.
We
need to accept the fact that fat happens, and it can happen for a reason. Just two weeks ago, I was at an autism
conference, and when looking at the effects of genetics, there is a gene that,
when it is damaged or changed, can have several different effects, one of which
is severe obesity. Yes, that’s
right. It *is* genetic! What a shocker!
Okay,
so what’s the message here?
Leave
us alone when we’re fat. Let us be happy
if we’re fat. We’ll change when we’re
damn good and ready, and if we aren’t, then suck it the fuck up. People exist in all shapes and sizes, and we
have different genes, different metabolisms, and different goals in life. If you don’t like that there is a “fat chick,”
then it’s your problem, not hers.
And
to the women reading this post – be yourself and be happy with it. To wish for clinical depression or a hit from
a truck is one of the most depressing things I have ever heard of. Being fat is not something to be ashamed
of. If you wish to change it, do. But don’t do it because of the external
pressure to change. You’ll never be
happy if you’re doing it for someone else.
