Passive Aggressive He-Man Woman Hater…Who is Female…

Okay, so I love reading the website Passive Aggressive notes.  It’s hysterically funny most of the time because people are just so super passive aggressive that it kind of scares me.  But this one particular entry does literally scare me, and not just for the reasons that the original submitted notes.

First, it’s a note from someone in a neighboring apartment.  It says:

Dear #7 –

My wife wants me to tell you to tell your wife to stop ‘dressing sexy’ because it’s offensive or something.  Sorry but your wife is hot and I would appreciate it if she didn’t bend to my wife’s crazy jealousy.  But if she asks, feel free to tell her I asked her to dress ‘more appropriately.’

I’m also jealous – that you get to hit that every night.  Those kids are adopted, right?!?

-          the neighbors

PS if your wife really wants to piss her off, tell her to wear that hot pink thing with the strings and the matching pink stripper shoes!!!

PPS I’m not creepy, I swear.  I just appreciate a fine looking woman when I see one.

"I'm not creepy...but can you wear the pink stripper heels?"

The submitter of the note says it’s creepy because the wife has never worn the pink shoes outside the house, so how does the note writer know about the

m?

I say it’s creepy because who the fuck is this guy’s wife to judge another woman?  Don’t we have enough shit out there when men judge women by their looks and determine that their outfits mean that they’re asking for it?  In this case, the woman is judging another woman, determining that her outfit is somehow going to seduce her husband away?

What the fuck, people?

And on top of that, what is up with the “my wife wants me to tell you to tell your wife.”  Soooo, let me get this straight: the writer of the night does what his wife tells him to, but the receiver of the note will obviously be some sort of alpha male whose wife will bend to his will?  Although, clearly, the other man does not want the submitter’s wife to listen to his wife; he wants to keep ogling her.  (Maybe his wife does have a valid complaint there – but it’s not the fault of the woman if she is being ogled…men do have a little thing called self-control.  Sadly, it’s often littler than their penis, which I suppose is why it is often defective, such as in situations like this.)

Basically, in closing, I just want to stay – stop fucking judging other people!  Let people wear what they want and be who they are without being so insecure and insane that you feel that you have the right to decide that they are in the wrong because you disagree with their choices! 

Rape is okay, according to a bunch of completely ignorant students. So you know that’s cool then.

The "No Rape" Ducky
I got doing the "Slut Walk" in Houston

I always read “Winning at Everything” (an awesome website, btw), and there was a “Losing at Sex Education” that showed a poll called “When Is Rape Okay?” that was conducted by a Jacqueline Goodchilds with high school students.  According to the poll, students (both male and female) agreed that rape was okay in certain situations, especially if “He is so turned on he thinks he can’t stop?,” “She is going to and then changes her mind?,” “She gets him sexually excited?,” or “They have dated for a long time?”  In those cases, 21 to 42 percent of women said it was okay.  Thirty-nine to 54 percent of men said it was okay.  (Although, again, these are high school students, so many we shouldn’t call them women and men…)  

Well, I read that and thought, “Nah, that can’t be right! Why the hell would a woman agree that rape was peachy keen okay with her?”  So I did research. 

Yes, this was a real study, and this was for real.  It was, however, done in 1978.  

Sadly, though, I’m not sure that really changes much.  According to the Center for Women and Families, 1 out of 6 women have been raped or been victims of attempted rape.  Of the women who were raped, 38% were under the age of 18.  Only 60% of rapes were reported to the police.  Over 70% of the rapes were not by strangers. (Please keep in mind those are only “rape” stats…sexual assault is a whole different category…but more on that in a future blog on defining rape…)

I think we need to work with women first.  If women are excusing rape, then how can we expect men to acknowledge that it’s a problem?  Women need to be together on this.  They need to agree.  Rape is *never* okay.  We cannot turn a blind eye to those who seem to think that it’s okay, that they deserve it, or that they somehow brought it onto themselves.  We need to increase reports to the police, increase our support of victims to make them into survivors and not victims, and then, and only then, can we actually do something about stopping rape.  Until then, we’re part of the society that allows it instead of actively condemns it.  So spread the word and make it clear: Rape is rape, and rape is not okay.