Can girls be gay?

Are we gay? Are we straight? Are we bi?
Who the fuck cares!

Seriously. I never thought I’d be writing about this, but after a conversation I had this past week, I felt the need to address this.

And, yes, it is a feminist issue. I shouldn’t need to explain that at all, so I won’t.

Here goes.

Girls can be gay. (I’m using girls as a generic term – replace it with whatever word works for you…I just always use girls and guys as my terminology.)

I can’t believe I had to post that.

Just in case you missed it, tho…

Girls can be gay.

Why did this even come up?

Well, twice in the same week, it was brought to my attention that some girls call other lesbians “fake” if they are trying to insult them, and a guy asked if a teenager I knew was “really gay” or if she just “thought she should be.”

Yup.

Why the hell would someone call someone else’s sexual orientation fake? Do we run up to straight people and be like, “OMG! You are so not a heterosexual! Stop pretending!” (Okay, to be fair, sometimes we do, like when we have a friend who is in the closet and afraid to come out, and we’re trying to be supportive in a totally unsupportive way…) But, in general, we wouldn’t think of accusing someone of pretending to be straight as an insult.

And why the hell would a girl be a lesbian because she “thought she should be”? Who thinks they have to be gay? Was there some sort of indoctrination meeting I missed? Should I also be pretending to be gay so I can fit in and be cool? Why would I pretend that? So I can get discriminated against? So I can worry that my friends and family will reject me? So I can wonder if I can walk safely down the street?

Look, guys – and girls – I hate to break this to you, but some girls like other girls. And some girls like both girls and guys. And some girls like guys. And it’s all good, and it’s all okay. What’s not okay is to question someone else’s sexuality. It’s not good to ask if someone is faking their sexual orientation.

So, the take away from this blog?

Stop being a douche. If someone tells you their sexual orientation, tell them, “Oh, okay,” and go on with your lives. It doesn’t matter, and you don’t get to judge.

Share the loooooove today!

Image by niamwhan
via freedigitalphotos.net

I got a scary email.  Scary because of the amount of hate jammed into a single message.

The Conservative Republicans of Texas invited me to their ‘Rally to Defend the Texas Marriage Amendment.’  I want to go.  Not to support them, of course, but to support marriage.  True marriage, you know, the kind between people who want to be married, regardless of any of the silly rules that some people think should be put in place. 

In the email, the group uses some awesome language to try to push their hate. 

“It’s time to rally and take action to defend God’s truth about marriage! A fierce battle has begun for the soul of Texas between those who defend God’s Biblical institution of marriage and those who hate God’s standards and promote homosexual ‘mirage.’”

“The idea that homosexuals could be married is a ‘mirage.’ It is contrary to God’s moral order. It’s a counterfeit. It’s a lie. It’s evil. The homosexuals and their supporters intend to destroy the institution of marriage against the will of the people of Texas. The homosexuals want to force Texans to accept 'homosexual mirage’ as morally right.”

“I need you to join the army that is forming to take a bold stand for Texas’ sovereignty and to defend God’s truth about marriage! Rally your fellow Christians to do likewise.”

Just wow. 

(But I do kind of admire them for how well they threw in the whole ‘sovereignty of Texas’ and ‘the soul of Texas.’  Amazing language choices…but pretty damn horrible nonetheless.)

I can’t begin to tell you all the problems in those statements, but I do want to point out some of the issues with this email.  Because, let’s be honest, marriage originally had nothing to do with the church.  It was financial.  And the Bible isn’t known for its happy marriages based on love and a man and woman.  In fact, I could swear there were parts about how you should give a raped virgin to her rapist to ‘save’ her, and how you could pay off a family if you happened to rape a virgin.  All things that were peachy keen in the Bible.  Soooo…maybe we won’t go any further than that. 

But I would like to ask you to.

I would be at the rally, standing happily on the other side, arguing for marriage and equality for all, but I just got notification today, and there’s no way I can make it to Austin. 

I’m assuming that most of you are in the same position.  You can’t make it either. 

Instead, I’m hoping to set up a virtual response.

Go to this website:

http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/Resources/FAQ.aspx

It will let you find your representatives.  Then send them e-mails, making sure that they realize that the hate-mongers on the steps of the Capitol do not speak for all of us.

 If you want to, you can also respond here, letting me know that you’ve spoken up.  We need to make sure that people spouting hate aren’t going to overwhelm those of us who are care about love.